Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The word of the day is "rape"!


In recent weeks the media has had a field day with the waves of nude photos of celebrities that were hacked through their iCloud accounts. Names like Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kaley Cuoco and many others have surfaced. Last night another set of photos were released to the public. In a crazy turn of events the cast from Sesame Street are the latest victims.

We had a chance to catch up with an insider from Sesame Street who chose to remain unidentified. “This is a tragic day for the Street. We have to be setting examples for these kids, so when there are pictures of frog penis, Snuffalapenis and Bert and Ernie doing things to each other that can only be described as confusing, kids get the wrong idea of what we are about.”

After seeing these pictures there are a lot of questions that are being raised. After a long stint in rehab, Cookie Monster had some of the most disturbing pictures. It looks like he is back on the cookie wagon. What looked like a cookie bender, Mr. Monster was seen pleasuring himself with cookie dough while canolis were being put in places that is only meant for the evacuation of said cookie.

The most surprising pics came from Big Bird. At 9 foot 3 inches his height seemed to be the only thing big about him. Although the pictures were done tasteful, he has to be a little embarrassed about what America saw.

I am not one to start rumors, but it seems that these images have already started a controversy that has over taken Twitter. Images of Kermit the Frog show him Froggystyling with another woman. And no it was not Miss Piggy, from the critically acclaimed Muppets cast. The woman in the picture appears to be Miley Cyrus. I would not want to be the one that showed Miss Piggy those pictures. Looks like Kermit will be bacon Piggy for forgiveness.

The most confusing images came from lead person on Sesame Street, Elmo. For once we thought the question of what sex Elmo was would be answered. It looks like everyone was right. Elmo appears to have both male and female genitalia. I guess that is why Elmo speaks in the third person, it doesn’t know what it is.

Another shocking story from the picture leak is the off and on relationship between Count Dracula and Oscar the Grouch. Oscar has always professed his love for the show True Blood but it looks like we know why. The images seem to be taken in Mr. Grouch’s trash can. One ball, two ball ah ah ah!
Sources tell us this is only the beginning of the hacked picture leak. Our insider indicated that this has been going on for years. They also went on to say that there are videos of Bert and Ernie tag teaming another cast mate from Sesame Street. The unnamed cast mate is said to be in counseling since the video in what he could only call the worst rape of all time.

Kids everywhere are in shock. We spoke to Little Mary at the local playground. “Where do I find these pics? I have heard Kermit is hung like a nine year old.”


We will keep you updated with any breaking news involving this story.